on the face of the moon

breaking up is hard to do

2007-08-26T20:57:00.000-07:00

I remember buying my first cassette tape with my own money when I was five or six. My sister and I would each get a $1 a week allowance from my parents which we were allowed to spend any way we chose. We got the precious dollar on Saturday mornings when my parents would take us to the local bowling alley. Inevitably we would spend the dollar on candy at the snack bar, and save none of it for the rest of the week. I am sure this why I am so irresponsible with money now, but that's a whole different story.

On one of these Saturday mornings, for some reason unknown to me, I had to accompany my mother to the drug store which was right next door to the bowling alley. While she went about doing whatever it was she had to do there, I wandered unaccompanied (gasp!) through the aisles of the store. In the front of the store next to the magazine rack, I came across one of those bins where cassette tapes go to die. On it someone had pasted a sign that read "... ... $1" (I couldn't read at the time). I knew very little about music at the time, but up until this point my parents had raised me on a series of tapes called "The Solid Gold Collection". I believe they were free when you bought gas at Shell gas stations. The songs on these tapes were all from the late 50's and early 60's (pre BEATLEMANIA)so as far as I was concerned, this was the only music worth listening to.

I rummaged through the tapes and can remember looking at the pictures. There were two tapes that stood out to me. One said 60's and the other one said 86 on the cover. Now, given my vast experience with music at the time, I knew that the 60's one must be the best. I was intrigued by the one from 86 because I knew it would bring me up to speed on what my generation were listening to. As always, I wanted the best of both worlds and asked my mother if I could have both. She told me that I could have my $1 allowance before going to the bowling alley and choose one tape to buy, but if I did, I would not be allowed any more later to get candy.

I chose the sixties compilation and happily handed my dollar over to the cashier. Bowling that day was torture. Here I was, an aspiring creative genius, forced to five-pin bowl for an hour while there was a tape of the most amazing music ever burning a hole in my pocket. And I had no candy.

I got home and immediately ran to my room. I had one of those little tape players that got horrible AM reception and played tapes with the least fidelity possible while still being able to call it playback. The first song on the tape was "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" by the Tokens (which has its own amazing story) and I was hooked instantly. I think the tape also had "Surfer Girl" by the Beach Boys and a few other songs that were totally forgettable.

My favourite song on the tape by far was Neil Sedaka's "Breaking up is hard to do". It had a great beat, a clap along backing track and great backing vocal parts that were instantly sing-along worthy. I must have worn that tape through rewinding and listening to Neil over and over again. It was to become my first favourite song.

Over the years I have had a lot of new favourite songs and as each new one has taken the trophy, "Breaking up is had to do" slipped further and further from memory.

It was not until a few years back when I attended a friends birthday party at a kitschy rock-n-roll diner here in Toronto that I even remembered the song existed. The event of the night was karaoke (of course) and we all had a great time butchering oldies tunes. At the end of the night, the MC did the 1976 version Neil recorded of "Breaking up is Hard to Do" which is slowed down and done more like a smoky jazz tune than a 60's bubble gum pop song.

He was a great singer as I remember, and all my fond memories of the song came rushing back. When he finished I approached him and asked who's version of the song it was. He then gave me a bit of the back story of the song, and explained that (a la Vanilla Ice) Neil Sedaka had covered his own tune in order to cash in on a burgeoning new musical genre and a new demographic.

I have since searched out this version of the song on multiple occasions, but it is impossible to find on P2P because everyone has the original song which has the same title and same artist (obviously) as the one I want. Record shops have been no help in acquiring a '45 and I'm not really interested in a Neil Sedaka greatest hits CD (though after writing this, I kind of am).

Then today came. Just out of curiosity, I punched the title into YouTube's search box and there it was. It's one of those videos where the song plays and the image is of a record playing. Not the most exciting video, but exciting enough to inspire me to write this post.

As I browsed through the videos of the various performances of this song, one thing really jumped out at me. And this may not come as a suprise to you or to Neil Sedaka, but NEIL SEDAKA HAS BEEN SINGING BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO FOR LIKE 45 YEARS!

This is obviously not astonishing in itself, as many artists have been singing the same songs for a long time (the Rolling Stones, Aerosmith, Paul McCartney and a plethora of forgotten 60's pop artists), what is interesting is that you can see the way American pop culture has evolved through watching his performances of the song. Also, the ways it has stayed the same. You can see the way he's changed the vocals (especially with the two different versions) to fit in with what is popular and how these days, he has returned to doing the original version of the song. It is a time capsule in music, a message sent from the past.

What appears to be the last television performance of the song is similar in many ways to what appears to be the first. In the last performance, there is clearly a backing musical track and it appears as though the only live part of the performance is Neil's lead vocal. Comparing that with the first performance which is obviously lip-synched, it is easy to say that not much has changed. But the attitude towards the song has changed with time and it is now what is commonly referred to as a 'Golden Oldie'. I am going to post a couple videos here for your amusement, but check out everything the Tube has to offer by pointing your browser here

This is the earliest performance I could find on YouTube. It is from four years after the song went #1. The audience is clearly sick of the song, but check out the background dancers! Complete lip-synch as was the standard for the day.

This looks like maybe from the late seventies or early 80's but your guess is as good as mine. Sounds like a totally live version. Watch until the end for a great version of "Calender Girl"!

This is the "jazzy" version I was talking about. In the early seventies, this crap was huge, and I love it. Maybe more than the original?

In this version, check out how Neil doesn't really seem to be playing piano, the backing vocals are lip-synched and the rest of the backing music is dubbed. Very similar in a lot of ways to the early version, but with a very different demographic in mind. Notice how the set uses a lot of neon lights and bright colours to try and evoke a feeling of nostalgia and recreate the type of atmosphere that someone may have been in when they first heard this song.

Ultimately 40 odd years later, Neil is playing by himself in what is probably a sold out auditorium. Playing his only Billboard #1 to a room full of people who probably remember when it went #1.

Are there any songs being written today that you think will be around in 45 years? Are we as a society willing to let songs become classics anymore? I once had a friend argue that timeless music is dead and that the last great song was "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana. I then brought up Dr Dre's "the next episode" which I think is of equal importance. And I think that there is still room for great songs to become timeless, but it's up to us to pick which one's they're going to be, and make sure they're not forgotten...

over and out
-the gw

2007-06-25T22:35:00.000-07:00

i can't make a resolution between my life and my values. i think that all i want to do is move to the country and open a coffee shop. one that serves fair trade coffee.

09,F9...

2007-05-03T00:02:00.000-07:00

it's been a month or so now since my last post. but this whole internet thing is just getting way out of hand:

forbes
new york times
you tube

so, we were all scared of plagues and then nuclear bombs. but really, we only have ourselves to fear because we're all a bunch of fucking nihilists (myself included????????).

-pat

what they dont teach you about heart transplants could kill you

2007-03-24T00:14:00.000-07:00

you get this half and i'll take what's left.
it'll still work alright,

it's only 50 percent though

and only works 50 percent of the time.

that's only 25 of the whole, for those of you
keeping score.

i'd gladly do it again too,
if someone else needed it more than me.

an appendix

2007-03-23T11:52:00.000-07:00

of sorts, to the previous post

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SaFTm2bcac a history of the most recognizable drumloop in the world.

-the gw

an open letter to the entertainment industry

2007-03-14T17:20:00.000-07:00

to whom it may concern,

here's my deal. i am an average guy, i live in canada. that makes me an average canadian guy. the one exception to my overwhelming averageness is the fact that i play in the rock n roll band die mannequin. you probably haven't heard of us yet but we are becoming quite successful here in the great white north. we have received recognition in a number of national publications here. we have toured this fine country extensively and have even had the honour and privelige of opening for guns n roses for five nights at stadiums all across eastern canada. in short, i plan on building my future (my career) in the music business. this makes me an average canadian guy with a vested interest in the future of the entertainment industry.

i am (believe it or not) a huge music fan as well and a helpless internet addict. one of my life's great pleasures is combining my two loves into one, trolling music sites all night long and finding out about everything that's going on in the world. from european black metal to brazillian club music, i want it all.

so (to make a long story short) here's the deal i am making with you:

everytime i open a website to view content only to be met with a "this content is only viewable in the united states" message, i am going to download whatever it is for free off of pirate bay or limewire. then i am going to burn copies of it and hand it out for FREE outside of movie and music stores along with huge unmarked bags of candy corn for the kids.

i will encourage everyone i know to do the same.

last year i went out and purchased the foo fighter's double disc, "in your honour". dave grohl is one of my favourite musicians and i own every foo fighters record released to date. i got home, unwrapped my new cd and opened the jewel case, stopping for a second to stick my nose in and catch a whiff of that New CD Smell. I put it in my computer first only to discover that my computer wouldn't play it. I shrugged and retrieved it from my disc drive.

i put the disc in my stereo and hit play. again it wouldn't play. i ended up listening to the record on my clock radio, the only cd player i had in the house that would play the fucking thing. so i downloaded the whole album, burnt it onto a disc and have enjoyed it ever since. i returned the original to the store and wrote dave grohl a letter to apologize for stealing his music.

now i'm not saying that i don't download music illegally. i have a few thousand mp3's on my computer, singles mostly (full albums are best experienced not at a computer but while lying face down on one's bed). this is because most bands suck and don't write good records or if they do, i've probably already purchased one or two of them.

such is life.

i think that maybe what happened is that you forgot that music is art, it's not a product. now, you can sell art with integrity and credibility, or you can sell it like a bar of soap. bars of soap don't really emote anything to me. they kind of sit there returning to their primordial state in my soap dish until such time as i decide i need to take a shower. so you sell it to me like that. "here is a bar of soap, it will clean your body off so that all the girls won't run away from you". that's nice. that's what i want soap to be. a product that serves a purpose.

now maybe i'm crazy, but i don't really want my music to be a product. it never has been. it's way to transitive to be that. music is the way i tap my fingers on my kitchen counter or the way i hear my boss whistling finnish folk melodies at work (a.k.a death metal guitar solos). it surrounds me as it surrounds all of us. as cliche as it is, music's purpose is to be the soundtrack of our lives. it's as present as the blood rushing through our veins, and no less powerful.

so don't dangle the proverbial carrot in front of my face and then tell me i can't have it. because i can. you're lying to me and you're lying to yourselves.

copyright is good. people have a right to own work they've created and to do with it as they please (sell it, give it away, etc..) in the same way as an inventor has a right to patent his idea.

this being said, you have every right to protect your artists creations. i want mine protected and make sure that i am being fairly compensated for the work i create or have a part in creating. you, as the money behind the art, also deserve your fair share. this is of course, if you understand that you are selling art. if you wish to sell products, i hear that the hygiene business is booming.

your digital rights restrictions are lame. you will never win the war against piracy. perhaps you instead need to understand that piracy is your (and my) new competition. what can you offer me that will entice me to return to the advertising wastelands you call commercial websites?

content my friends. that's what. give me more of it in better quality. give it to me faster and with better search options. offer me things that will enrich my life and my love of music, and i will give you my undying love. pandora is a great example of this, even if still hindered by the ludicrous restrictions you have put on it. give us exactly what we want.

supplement it with some advertising so you can pay for your new audi roadster and i can buy another box of kraft dinner and we'll all be happy. give us more shit like what's happening at mtv.com or rollingstone.com and i'll be living out of an old refridgerator box and you'll be wondering who broke the window of your car and stole your fucking radio.

what i am saying is that by not being open minded, you are facilitating piracy. i hope i'm not being redundant, but i feel like maybe you need this spelled out for you.

imagine if all of a sudden all the people in the world decided that they wanted soap to smell like a freshly cooked pound of bacon and the soap companies all stood up and said "that's ridiculous, we're not making bacon scented soap". so then, instead of buying soap, people just started buying more bacon. what do you think would happen to all the soap companies? well, if they were rigid and stuck in their ways, perhaps they would go bankrupt. or better yet, sue the bacon companies to try and stop them from selling bacon. but then maybe one soap company, a brave and forward thinking soap company has a moment of clarity and proclaims "if everyone in the world is buying bacon to use as soap, then we should get into the bacon business!"*

david bowie said a while back that paying for music will eventually become like a utility bill, not unlike water or electricity. i agree with him and think it's a good idea. let's make sure it's our names at the top of the bills though, eh?

be brave my friends and we will all be able to rock the fuck out for years to come. you are the keepers of the songs, so do your due dilligence and stop screwing it up.

sincerely,
the ghostwolf

why dairy queen is the best (or how i sold out to the american dream)

2007-03-04T10:19:00.000-08:00

the dairy queen blizzard fan club is the best club i have ever been in. when you sign up you get a printable coupon for a free blizzard! you also get a coupon to use on your birthday for a free blizzard or any other delicious delicacy that dairy queen offers!

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!!

upon registration, you get a monthly email telling you a whimsical story about the blizzard of the month which is accompanied by a tantalizing picture of said blizzard. what more could you want out of life!?

well let me tell you this incredible story! the blizzard fan club has just sent me an email about this months blizzard (creme de menthe oreo) which includes a coupon for buy one get one free!

thanks dairy queen, you truly are the best fast food company ever.

so like, what are you waiting for? a link?

tim armstrong vs. allen ginsberg

2007-02-22T05:34:00.000-08:00

so,

i'm standing in my favourite local bookstore last night. grabbing all my favourites in alphabetical order as i stroll through the aisles (well, there's only one aisle really). books are funny because i don't know the authors personally, but i feel that in a lot of ways i know them better than myself. picking up musty old books, i flip through the pages and when no ones looking, stick my face right up close so that the pages brush against the tip of my nose as i thumb through the pages.

old books. they smell like experience and like wisdom. i like forgotten books, that no one has read or thought about in 20 years. books that won literary honours and such, but that have disapeered in the black hole of time. they're like old girlfriends from high school, who you liked once, but have long since forgotten why.

not that these books and the stories they contain are any less valid than new ones being written today. moreso, their validity is exemplified by the fact that they contributed to the collective consciousness of us all, and in a round about way influenced and inspired the new books we read today. sort of like the six degrees of seperation of allen ginsberg.. or something.

like understanding yourself, it is important to go back and see where you came from. these books are our emotional history.

i like discovering books and taking chances with them. stepping off the beaten path of the greats and just grabbing a random story. this is why i like this bookstore i was in last night; their shit to gold ratio is pretty low. the staff are also much bigger booknerds than i and can help me out when i stray to far from the goodness of goodness.

so i'm going through and grabbing stuff and i realize that what i actually want is the 5 dollar copy of motley crue's autobiography and this experimental stream-of-consciousness book that henry rollins wrote in the mid nineties(eye scream). and i'm standing there in my leather jacket, ripped jeans and dirty shoes like the ultimate cliche: "of course the punk rock guy wants the punk rock books".

i stood there for wondering how my bookstore cronies would cringe and look down on me when i brought my selections to the counter. here i was buying books written by musicians (clearly unacceptable) and not only that, but they were obnoxious rock musicians. what could these people possibly have to say that i would be interested in hearing, and moreover, why would i be interested in hearing it?

the funny thing about punk rock is that it's addictive.

it's like cocaine for the spirit.

it's who i am and it's what i identify with. i didn't wake up one morning and decide to find punk rock, it found me. it lifted me up and told me about all the things good and right in the world. i am grateful to it for that. it's the way i view the world around me and the way that i feel it views me.

and i can't get enough.

i don't think anyone really cares what i'm reading, least of all the bored employees at a bookstore. the only one who really has an issue with it is me. i guess i felt a little guilty and maybe a little like i sell myself short by participating in what some(most) would consider low-brow entertainment. wasting time reading about the exploits of an eighties hair metal band when i could be reading the works of the GREAT CHARLES DICKENS!?

it's about balancing the two, and i guess that's the point i've been trying to make in this post. and in my life. i always seem to find balance in the two diametrically opposed sides, and i love being there in the middle. i love making each confront the other and making them feel like they're missing out on something great for excluding the other. the only drawback of this is that i never get to live in either world fully.

too dumb to be smart and too smart to be dumb.

that's why i felt uncomfortable standing there with the books i had chosen. it wasn't about admitting something to the guy behind the counter, it was about admitting something to myself.

but i read the first 50 pages of the rollins' book last night, and i enjoyed every last sentence. if the goal is still happiness after all this time, then why not be happy with who i am rather than unhappy about who i'm not?

put another dime in the jukebox baby...

searching for bobby fischer

2007-02-20T02:17:00.000-08:00

i think that it's mostly restless hours spent alone.

i am the kind of person that always needs to be moving. i've spent the last year of my life fighting against the pressures of my past, present and future. kicking at the darkness and trying to bleed out some daylight (so they say). and in the first days of solitude in over 395, i find myself going nuts from the lack of pressure. i am not a self starter, not really. thought i am good at following direction and making suggestions where needed, without a constant sense of responsibility to either others or to myself, i find that i just kind of sit here.

(i baked the other half of our chocolate cake yesterday, and ate the whole thing 'cept for two slices: one which i gave to ed, and the other which sits safely caccooned in a wrap of cellophane on my kitchen counter)

i almost miss the battle that was laid at my feet, though i do not wish to relive it in the slightest. this period of my life which has all to recently ended leaves me with a feeling of emptiness and lack of purpose. do i dare wage further war against the outside world, or waste away in front of my 21st century idiot box?????

---

i've never been much of a chess player, though i do enjoy the game. i like that there is a set formula and guidelines by which a player of greater skill can easily defeat one of lesser. i feel that it is sort of a microcosmic representation of the very nature of capitalism and of the greater human condition. some are inherently predisposed to win the game based on their upbringing (practicing chess) and their confidence going into the match (which also relates to the way we are raised[?]).

i have never been a confident chess player. i understand the rules, and i am quite adept at learning strategy. i do not however, consider myself good. so whenever i am in a match and i realize that my opponent is of greater skill than i, i choose to employ what i like to call "chaos theory". this theory works in all forms of competitive activity (including video games, pool, fist fighting and of course, chess) and i have only recently realized that i do this because it is a way of fucking with the system without taking on any personal investment. should i ultimately lose the match while using this tactic, i can claim no personal responsibility and instead blame it on the greater forces of the universe.

i think that perhaps i approach everything in life this way, which is why i never truly succeed.

i could be a great chess player, i choose not to be (and we all know why that is)))

---

i am an idea person, and i am really good at that. you may have noticed that i registered a new blog, the 'toronto nacho review'. a friend of mine and i decided one night after a particularily revolting and overpriced plate of nachos (from joe mercury's at dundas west and bloor) that there needs to be some sort of system, much like the way toronto health has a system to monitor and regulate the sanitary conditions of restaurants. people need to be made aware in advance of the wretched plate of nachos that sit waiting and festering for them at any shitty dive bar in this city.

we haven't reviewed any nachos yet, mostly because i have not eaten any since. BUT

i FULLY INTEND TO REVIEW NACHOS IN THE CITY OF TORONTO AS SOON AS I EAT SOME.

for the record, some of my favourite nachos in the city thus far:
1. sneaky dee's - the kings crown - it's like 15 bucks and worth every shiny penny. better than sex.
2. queenshead - some nights they're like magic and others like a book of shitty card tricks for kids. buyer beware
3. o'reilly's - good nachos, fair prices. a great view of the newfie cn tower
4. dufferin gate - good nachos, guacamole on the side sometimes, jalapenos aplenty and lots of sour cream.

i like nachos that come with beans and meat in them or on them. most places don't do this, but if you find one, let me know. i'm sure that there are good nachos at authentic mexican places throughout my fair city, though i can rarely afford to partake in such fine dining.

what was my point??

yes.

starting things and finishing them. being bored cause i don't do anything. that's my point.

i am actually going to do something this year. this is the year of doing and not saying.

indeed.

over and out,
the gw

ps: also going to buy a chess board, who wants to play?

2007-02-14T02:05:00.000-08:00

i think i'm losing it.

and by "it", i am not referring to my mental state. well, not in the traditional sense. i think i'm losing perspective, maybe i'm losing my sense of humour. i think i'm getting dull. like the knife in the drawer you never use. left to collect dust while you look to sharper knives to get the job done quicker, and with a more pleasing result.

and i guess i need a sharpening stone. something to grind my teeth against to remember what it was that i fought for in the first place. when everyone lets you get away with everything, it makes it hard to be accountable to yourself.

i guess it's part of being an individual. but i've always had an anchor to keep this ship from sailing away. now adrift in the ocean i realize that my compass says north is south and the E has worn off completely.

i thought that perhaps i was just bored, that i needed something new to entertain me. because lately, that's all anything has been about: entertainment. i forgot that somewhere along the way, i was trying to learn something as well.

i learn something new everyday, but it's all just committed to short term memory. (did you know there was a friendly fire incident two days ago where american planes fired on british tanks in iraq? killed a british soldier and everything. check it out on youtube) it's gotten to the point where i'm no longer stimulated by the passing of everyday events, i'm just entertained.

does anyone else feel like this??

i am analytical i suppose, and i am more in touch with myself than i ever have been. but in terms of the outside world, i feel like a dog off a leash. i can do everything, stuff i never thought i could do. but i miss having a life.

i miss having someone to share it with.
(i forgot it was valentine's day until i went to google and noticed that they had changed their logo.)

crawling out of this hole in the ground everyday to participate in some task that to most would seem extraordinary, but to me just feels menial.

the little moments of solitude shared with someone in the early hours of the morning, lying in bed when the sun comes up, learning life's secrets without any words.

i understand how people disappear from their own bodies now. empty shells filled with starbucks coffee wearing the latest h&m fashions.

i want a real life back. i'm tired of playing pretend and i've gotta do something different.

i think i may hit the reset button this spring.

i have played this game for a long time, and i know all the secret moves. i know the codes and i've got the gold key to open the door to the last boss.

but maybe i'll save my last quarter for the new release?

the best thing ever for music geeks.

camel lake

2006-12-12T01:35:00.000-08:00

when i was younger, probably about eight years old, i was at my grandmothers cottage on a rather typical muskoka sunny afternoon. down at the dock i was playing with the various toys that she had amassed over the years. water wings, flutter boards, and basic snorkeling gear were all to be found in mildewy tupperware bins at the side of the lake, just under an old maple tree.

i would spend hours, even though much to old for them, rooting through these old bins finding toy trucks, sailboats, sand castle excavating equipment, and just about anything else a young man's imagination could wish for.

i had started swimming around and had brought some of the treasures up onto the main dock where i was pulling them into the water and examining each's ability to float on their own. it became apparent rather quickly that dump trucks floated far less effectively than sailboats, a fact of which i was already aware, but enjoyed proving to myself nonetheless.

now i'm sure you have seen the specific toy i am about to talk about. it is more suited for toddlers than for an eight (?) year old like myself. it's kind of like a little raft that is in the shape of a turtle. it has two handles on the top side and in the middle there is a large opening with a mesh basket that has two holes in it for one's legs. i decided that even at my ripe old age, the raft would definitely support me and i decided to give it a try.

i stepped up onto the dock and positioned the turtle right by the side, floating straight outwards to the middle of the lake. carefully i stepped off the dock and put my right leg into the far leg hole. i then proceeded to step off with the other foot and place it in the adjacent hole.

i am not exactly sure what happened next, but within seconds the turtle went belly up with me on the underside. i was trapped in legholes far to small for me and was positioned almost vertically upside down in warm camel lake water. i struggled to rear my head back up above, but every time i did, the natural force of the buoyant turtle kept sending me right back down. it was almost like a real life physics lesson, and newton had never been so happy. my legs were trapped and i could not breathe. i fought for what seemed like hours underneath the water. legs flailing up in the air, i'm sure it must have looked quite silly to anyone looking on. but no one was.

after what seemed like forever, i managed to grasp the side of the dock and pull myself out. exhausted from my battle for survival i laid on the dock and slowly slid my feet out from the offending holes.

no one had noticed what had happened, and i've never really told anyone about it until right now. i felt very stupid for trying to fit into something that, even at the time, knew was to small for me. as desperately as i wanted to get into the turtle, it just wasn't the right fit. i had grown out of it far too long ago, and wiser boys than i would have seen it right from the start.

back from the undead

2006-12-05T11:56:00.000-08:00

welcome ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. to the internet.
more to come no doubt.

over and out,
-the gw