searching for bobby fischer
i think that it's mostly restless hours spent alone.
i am the kind of person that always needs to be moving. i've spent the last year of my life fighting against the pressures of my past, present and future. kicking at the darkness and trying to bleed out some daylight (so they say). and in the first days of solitude in over 395, i find myself going nuts from the lack of pressure. i am not a self starter, not really. thought i am good at following direction and making suggestions where needed, without a constant sense of responsibility to either others or to myself, i find that i just kind of sit here.
(i baked the other half of our chocolate cake yesterday, and ate the whole thing 'cept for two slices: one which i gave to ed, and the other which sits safely caccooned in a wrap of cellophane on my kitchen counter)
i almost miss the battle that was laid at my feet, though i do not wish to relive it in the slightest. this period of my life which has all to recently ended leaves me with a feeling of emptiness and lack of purpose. do i dare wage further war against the outside world, or waste away in front of my 21st century idiot box?????
---
i've never been much of a chess player, though i do enjoy the game. i like that there is a set formula and guidelines by which a player of greater skill can easily defeat one of lesser. i feel that it is sort of a microcosmic representation of the very nature of capitalism and of the greater human condition. some are inherently predisposed to win the game based on their upbringing (practicing chess) and their confidence going into the match (which also relates to the way we are raised[?]).
i have never been a confident chess player. i understand the rules, and i am quite adept at learning strategy. i do not however, consider myself good. so whenever i am in a match and i realize that my opponent is of greater skill than i, i choose to employ what i like to call "chaos theory". this theory works in all forms of competitive activity (including video games, pool, fist fighting and of course, chess) and i have only recently realized that i do this because it is a way of fucking with the system without taking on any personal investment. should i ultimately lose the match while using this tactic, i can claim no personal responsibility and instead blame it on the greater forces of the universe.
i think that perhaps i approach everything in life this way, which is why i never truly succeed.
i could be a great chess player, i choose not to be (and we all know why that is)))
---
i am an idea person, and i am really good at that. you may have noticed that i registered a new blog, the 'toronto nacho review'. a friend of mine and i decided one night after a particularily revolting and overpriced plate of nachos (from joe mercury's at dundas west and bloor) that there needs to be some sort of system, much like the way toronto health has a system to monitor and regulate the sanitary conditions of restaurants. people need to be made aware in advance of the wretched plate of nachos that sit waiting and festering for them at any shitty dive bar in this city.
we haven't reviewed any nachos yet, mostly because i have not eaten any since. BUT
i FULLY INTEND TO REVIEW NACHOS IN THE CITY OF TORONTO AS SOON AS I EAT SOME.
for the record, some of my favourite nachos in the city thus far:
1. sneaky dee's - the kings crown - it's like 15 bucks and worth every shiny penny. better than sex.
2. queenshead - some nights they're like magic and others like a book of shitty card tricks for kids. buyer beware
3. o'reilly's - good nachos, fair prices. a great view of the newfie cn tower
4. dufferin gate - good nachos, guacamole on the side sometimes, jalapenos aplenty and lots of sour cream.
i like nachos that come with beans and meat in them or on them. most places don't do this, but if you find one, let me know. i'm sure that there are good nachos at authentic mexican places throughout my fair city, though i can rarely afford to partake in such fine dining.
what was my point??
yes.
starting things and finishing them. being bored cause i don't do anything. that's my point.
i am actually going to do something this year. this is the year of doing and not saying.
indeed.
over and out,
the gw
ps: also going to buy a chess board, who wants to play?
i am the kind of person that always needs to be moving. i've spent the last year of my life fighting against the pressures of my past, present and future. kicking at the darkness and trying to bleed out some daylight (so they say). and in the first days of solitude in over 395, i find myself going nuts from the lack of pressure. i am not a self starter, not really. thought i am good at following direction and making suggestions where needed, without a constant sense of responsibility to either others or to myself, i find that i just kind of sit here.
(i baked the other half of our chocolate cake yesterday, and ate the whole thing 'cept for two slices: one which i gave to ed, and the other which sits safely caccooned in a wrap of cellophane on my kitchen counter)
i almost miss the battle that was laid at my feet, though i do not wish to relive it in the slightest. this period of my life which has all to recently ended leaves me with a feeling of emptiness and lack of purpose. do i dare wage further war against the outside world, or waste away in front of my 21st century idiot box?????
---
i've never been much of a chess player, though i do enjoy the game. i like that there is a set formula and guidelines by which a player of greater skill can easily defeat one of lesser. i feel that it is sort of a microcosmic representation of the very nature of capitalism and of the greater human condition. some are inherently predisposed to win the game based on their upbringing (practicing chess) and their confidence going into the match (which also relates to the way we are raised[?]).
i have never been a confident chess player. i understand the rules, and i am quite adept at learning strategy. i do not however, consider myself good. so whenever i am in a match and i realize that my opponent is of greater skill than i, i choose to employ what i like to call "chaos theory". this theory works in all forms of competitive activity (including video games, pool, fist fighting and of course, chess) and i have only recently realized that i do this because it is a way of fucking with the system without taking on any personal investment. should i ultimately lose the match while using this tactic, i can claim no personal responsibility and instead blame it on the greater forces of the universe.
i think that perhaps i approach everything in life this way, which is why i never truly succeed.
i could be a great chess player, i choose not to be (and we all know why that is)))
---
i am an idea person, and i am really good at that. you may have noticed that i registered a new blog, the 'toronto nacho review'. a friend of mine and i decided one night after a particularily revolting and overpriced plate of nachos (from joe mercury's at dundas west and bloor) that there needs to be some sort of system, much like the way toronto health has a system to monitor and regulate the sanitary conditions of restaurants. people need to be made aware in advance of the wretched plate of nachos that sit waiting and festering for them at any shitty dive bar in this city.
we haven't reviewed any nachos yet, mostly because i have not eaten any since. BUT
i FULLY INTEND TO REVIEW NACHOS IN THE CITY OF TORONTO AS SOON AS I EAT SOME.
for the record, some of my favourite nachos in the city thus far:
1. sneaky dee's - the kings crown - it's like 15 bucks and worth every shiny penny. better than sex.
2. queenshead - some nights they're like magic and others like a book of shitty card tricks for kids. buyer beware
3. o'reilly's - good nachos, fair prices. a great view of the newfie cn tower
4. dufferin gate - good nachos, guacamole on the side sometimes, jalapenos aplenty and lots of sour cream.
i like nachos that come with beans and meat in them or on them. most places don't do this, but if you find one, let me know. i'm sure that there are good nachos at authentic mexican places throughout my fair city, though i can rarely afford to partake in such fine dining.
what was my point??
yes.
starting things and finishing them. being bored cause i don't do anything. that's my point.
i am actually going to do something this year. this is the year of doing and not saying.
indeed.
over and out,
the gw
ps: also going to buy a chess board, who wants to play?
posted by the ghostwolf at 2:17 AM
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